Captain Oats Likes Bubbles
by I-Believe-In-The-Butterflies
Summary: Set in Season 1...Ryan and Seth get drunk and it leaves Marissa and Summer to look after them! No Drama. Ryan and Marissa. Seth and Summer sort of, this is before they actually got together. R&R.
1. A lItTlE fUn FoR tHe BoYs

This is set in Season 1, right after The Perfect Couple, before Thanksgiving. Just a little bit of fun, because we all need some sometimes. 4's equal breaks in the story…so y'know, well whatever. This is my first attempt at humor…so humor me and give me an awesome review. This is going to be a short fic. Maybe 3 chapters, I don't know. We'll just see how everyone likes this…Jamie (or J).

Disclaimer: I only own the ideas and what not. No characters. Like I said, my name is Jamie, not Josh.

"C'mon Ryan…look, it's ONE party. And I've only been drunk, like, maybe one time…and it didn't even really count. I mean, the Water Polo Players ruined it for me. Plus, Summer said that she wanted to go. I'm not sure about Anna. Marissa more than likely will go, I mean, you know how Marissa is."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ryan asked, glaring at Seth.

"It means…she wants to be wherever you are." Seth said, trying to cover up his mistaken use of words.

"And if she doesn't want to go?"

"Then…you can stay here."

"Fine. What about your parents?" Ryan asked, trying to persuade Seth that a party full of drunken teenagers was a bad idea.

"Well, damn…haven't thought about that." Seth paused, putting his pointer finger on his chin as if he was thinking of some great master plan. "Doesn't an IMAX movie sound good to you Ryan? A little bit of shark fun, maybe?"

"No Seth. I'm not lying to your parents."

"Who said YOU had to?" Seth smiled slyly.

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"Hello Mother. Father. Have any plans on this wondrous Friday night?" Seth asked, leaning up against the couch that Kirsten and Sandy were sitting on.

"We kind of wanted to go out to dinner. Why? What do you have planned?" Kirsten asked.

"Me and Ryan…Marissa, Summer and maybe Anna were going to go see that shark movie at the IMAX." Seth's lie was full-proof. His parents trusted him…right?

"I thought you already saw that one." Sandy said, he knew his son had other plans.

"Well…um…I did…I mean, me and Ryan did…but the girls wanted to see it too. And they won't go see it by themselves…I mean, cause they'd have nightmares or something." Ha ha. Seth could tell a lie in a matter of seconds.

Kirsten looked at Sandy with her 'I know he's up to something' look but shrugged it off. It was the weekend. He couldn't get into too much trouble. And she'd always find out later anyway. Ryan was a bad liar, and she could get him to tell her…or at least she could trick him into telling her.

"Okay Seth. Just don't stay out too late. Your father and I will be out til about 2 probably."

Sandy looked at Kirsten like 'What are you doing?' but he figured she'd tell him later. Maybe she wanted the boys gone. Sandy liked it when she wanted them gone. It meant that she wanted some time alone with him.

Seth smiled fully. His plan had totally worked! He couldn't wait to tell Ryan.

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"Hello." Marissa answered her phone.

"Hello Marissa. This is Seth. Seth Cohen."

"I know who you are Seth." She rolled her eyes. "What's up?"

"Well. Me and Ryan are going to this party tonight. And I lied and told him that you said that you wanted to go already so he'd go and so you'll go right?" Seth blurted it all out in one sentence.

"Okay…" Marissa said, not fully understanding what he had just said. "A party? Where?" She prayed that he didn't say Holly's.

"At the beach. But don't worry. No 'Jackass Water Polo Players' or 'Little Slut Whores' as Summer likes to call them, will be there. I made sure of it."

"I suppose a party would be a fun way to start off our Thanksgiving break. So sure, why not."

"Exactly my thoughts. Be over here at like 6:30."

"Seth…isn't that a little early?"

"Yeah, it is…but I'm afraid that Ryan's going to back down and you'll have to convince him in your own little ways."

"My own little ways huh?" She asked, smiling to herself.

"You know he can't resist you. Oh yeah! Bring Summer along. Okay?" Seth sounded so anxious.

"Okay, I'll do my best. See you later."

"Thank you! Later."

With that, they both hung up their phones.

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"Ryan?…Ryan? Are you in here buddy?" Seth asked stepping into the pool house. "Cause Marissa will be here shortly."

Ryan stepped out of the bathroom. His hair was dripping water off of the tips and he had a towel over his shoulder. "I can't get privacy can I?" He asked, sitting on the bed, preparing to put his shoes on.

"Well, no. Not while I'm around…so what's on the agenda tonight? You going to get wasted? I've never seen you drunk. Are you all emotional? Or do you get angry…broody? Oh wait, you're always angry and broody."

"I'll show you angry."

Seth was silent.

"I'm kidding Seth. Yeah, getting wasted sounds fun. But I'm sure Marissa will want to have fun, and I'll have to keep an eye on her."

"Okay…well…what if you get a little tipsy now? Beat her to the…drunkeness?"

"Yeah, uh huh…because I can go into the kitchen, pull out some vodka, and drink it right in front of your parents without them noticing. Sounds like a plan."

"Are you being sarcastic? Because you know that I'm the one who is sarcastic. I'm the funny one Ryan. And anyway…you don't have to sneak into the kitchen."

Ryan looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean?"

Seth pulled out the bottle of vodka he was hiding behind his back. "This, my friend." He tossed the bottle at Ryan, who caught it with one hand.

"Why not." He never got to be a reckless teenager anymore. Ryan popped off the top and took a big drink. A little too big, actually.

"Okay, give it to me." Seth said, reaching for the bottle.

"Nope. Get your own." Ryan said, pulling the vodka farther away from Seth and taking another giant drink. "Mine." He smiled.

"Do you know how hard it was for me to snatch that one?"

"Don't know. Don't care." He took another drink, then another one. "You said for ME to get tipsy. You can get drunk on beer. You're the one who wanted to go to the party to drink in the first place."

"That's not FAIR!" Seth pouted.

"What's not fair?" Marissa asked stepping into the pool house.

She distracted Seth's attention and Ryan finished off the bottle of vodka.

"Um…" Seth looked over at Ryan, who had obviously hidden the bottle. "That…Ryan, that Ryan gets to…"

Silence filled the pool house.

"Have M&M's in my room. I mean, pool house." Ryan finished for him…which was very uncharacteristic of him.

Marissa had a confused smile on her face. "Okay."

Seth looked at Ryan and mouthed 'M&M's?' to him. Ryan just shrugged his shoulders.

"Summer's in the kitchen, Seth. Anna didn't want to come. I think she had some family members visiting this weekend or something. Which made Summer quite happy to be honest." Marissa said, sitting down on the bed next to Ryan.

He moved farther away from her. If she smelled his breath, his and Seth's fun would be over before it really had begun.

She looked at him. "What? Do you not want to be around me or something?"

"I'm just…" He looked at Seth for help.

"He forgot that…"

"Are you guys ready or what?" Summer barged into the pool house. Pissed looking, or just really annoyed.

Saved by the bell.

"Yes, Summer…we are. Now if Ryan would just finish up tying his boots, we can get a move on." He glanced at the clock. It was 7:00. "I thought I told you guys to be here by 6:30 anyway."

"We're girls. What do you expect dumb ass." Summer said. She saw Ryan fidgeting with his shoe laces. "Does Chino not know how to tie or something?" She asked, making everyone look at Ryan.

Ryan's face turned red. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't get the bunny ears to loop around each other…well, maybe it kind of was.

"It's fine. I like them like this better anyway." Ryan said, standing up and walking out of the pool house. Barely missing the glass window on his way out.

"What's with him? Is he mad at me?" Marissa asked. Sadness in her voice.

"No. Not at all. Actually, I think he'll be quite happy tonight. Maybe even merry." Seth said smiling. "Okay. Well, let's go. Maybe I can convince him to let me tie his shoes in the car. If he trips in front of anyone, he'd be embarrassed and not to mention pissed."

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Finally they all arrived at the party. Ryan was acting very strange from his usual self. He even let Seth tie his shoes. Seth knew he was quite tipsy…but Marissa and Summer just thought he was a little 'off' today.

Seth was already headed towards the beer. Beer Heaven.

"C'mon Coop. Let's go, it looks like there's a keg." Summer said, pulling Marissa's arm.

"Wait, Summer! Ryan's not even out of the car yet." Marissa pulled her arm back. She walked up to where Ryan was sitting in the car. "C'mon Ryan. If you really didn't want to come to this party, you didn't have to. I just thought you might want to have some fun."

"I am having fun." Ryan smiled widely. "You look pretty." He leaned in to kiss Marissa and he bumped into her forehead instead.

"Ow!" Marissa said. "What is with you tonight?" She asked grabbing his head in her hands. His eyes wandered everywhere. "Sethhhh! Come here!"

Seth heard his name being called and quickly rushed over, scared that Ryan had blown their plan. "What? What is it?" He asked, seeing Ryan's head being held up by Marissa's hands and the look of worry on Ryan's face gave it all away.

"Is he drunk?" Marissa asked.

"Um…well, he kind of, drank a whole bottle of vodka before we got here."

Marissa glared.

"C'mon Marissa. He told me he wanted to have fun and he said that…he was worried that instead of having fun, he'd have to keep an eye out for you….well, not that that isn't fun for him…he just wanted to…I'm sorry. I thought it would just make him tipsy." Seth lowered his head.

"Why are you talking about me when I'm right here and you're talking about me like I'm not." Ryan said, stepping out of the car. Clearly, he was more than tipsy.

"Fine. I'll take over." Seth said defeated. "Go have fun."

"No. I can do it. Plus Ryan's a big boy. He's been drunk before. I won't drink anything tonight though. Go have fun. You deserve it." Marissa replied. She looked at Ryan who had a goofy smile on his face. "So does he." She couldn't help but smile. Seeing Ryan drunk could be a new kind of fun, after all.

Okay, so that was chapter one. Hope you liked it. There is more to come, if you want it. You guys Rock!


	2. TwO bOyS tOo DrUnK

Hey, thanks for all the reviews guys...I really appreciate it. I'm sorry some things in this story are a little off. I've only ever been drunk once, and I've never been around two drunken teenage boys...it's just for fun anyways. So sorry...it is fiction though. Thanks for reading past my mistakes anyway.

I only own the story...not the characters etc.

Hope you enjoy this chapter. I tried to make Ryan a lot out of character. Just for fun issues. Seth's about the same, I guess. Enjoy! Jamie (or J).

The party was in full swing now. It was a little past 9:30.

Seth made his way to get another cup of beer from the keg. It had been his 12th? No, maybe his 18th…He couldn't remember, so it didn't matter.

Summer was busy with Seth. Only having about 3 cups of beer the whole time. Not that she wanted to watch Seth get drunk all night, but she knew that with his mouth, he'd get his ass kicked if she wasn't there. And Chino was clearly out of it by now, well he had been a while ago. Plus, she did care about Seth…a little.

"Coop. Come with me to the bathroom." She said, walking up to Marissa and Ryan with Seth in tow.

"I can't Summer. Do you NOT see him?" Marissa pointed to a drunken, laughing Ryan.

"Please Coop. It's Chino. Him and Seth can keep each other company while we go."

Marissa took one last look at Ryan. "I'll be back in one second." She kissed his cheek and took off with Summer.

"Now that the ladies are gone, Ryan…why don't we get you another drink? Marissa will never know." Seth said, almost slurring every other word.

Ryan stopped laughing and shook his head yes. He had snuck several drinks without Marissa knowing. How he did it? He'd never tell. He was sneaky. Even better then Seth.

Seth and Ryan walked off onto the sand and found themselves more beer. This time, cans. Not as good as the keg, but it would do. Not like they could really taste any difference at this point anyway.

"Here ya go." Seth handed Ryan two cans of beer and grabbed himself two as well.

"Ready?" Ryan asked.

Seth shook his head yes.

"1...2.………3!" They opened one can of beer and chugged it down as fast as they could. One down, one to go. They did the same with the other.

"Ryan, buddy, pal…I just remembered…we didn't eat dinner. You think we're going to be sick in the morning?"

"Nah. You kiddin'. If we are…well…I don't know…we'll be fine." Ryan grabbed another beer and opened it. Consuming it in two gulps.

They would be sick in the morning, but that was the farthest thing from Ryan's mind.

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"Oh my God! Where are they?" Marissa frantically searched the beach for the two drunken boys.

"Relax Coop. They're smart. I mean, I seriously doubt that they drank more and wandered off."

"They're drunk! No one is smart when they're drunk!"

Summer laughed on the inside. Was Marissa just calling herself stupid? Because she was drunk…a lot.

Then Summer saw two figures laying out on the sand in the distance. "There they are." She rolled her eyes.

The girls finally made their way to Seth and Ryan, who were laying in the sand and moving their arms and legs in and out. There was at least 6 beer cans laying beside them.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Summer asked, on the verge of laughing hysterically.

"Makin' sno…sand angels." Ryan replied, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"We have to get you guys out of here." Marissa said, bending down next to Ryan and stopping his moving arms by putting her hands on his biceps. "Are Kirsten and Sandy home?"

Ryan didn't say a word, instead he just laid there and looked up at Marissa. "I have sand, in my pants." He finally said.

Seth started laughing loudly. "Ryan! Wa-Wait…I have sand in my pants too!…" The next few words out of Seth's mouth were too impossible to understand because of his laughing.

But it seemed as if Ryan understood every word, because he started laughing along with Seth. He stopped and took a breath. "You really do look pretty Marissa."

Marissa couldn't help but smile. She wanted to laugh, but decided against it. "Sum. We've really got to get them back to their house."

"I know." Summer said. She was trying to get Seth up from the sandy beach. "He's heavier than he looks." She said, out of breath from pulling on him.

"It's going to be impossible, trying to get Ryan up. He's bigger then Seth."

Seth and Ryan looked at each other. They both were covered in sand. Ryan turned on his stomach and got off of the ground. Seth did the same, but he immediately fell back down.

"Ow." He replied. "Help me, Ryan."

"Okay." Ryan said and proceeded to help Seth up off of the ground as well. It didn't work. Seth ended up pulling Ryan down, instead of Ryan pulling Seth up.

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"That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do." Marissa said, pulling on Ryan's wrist and helping him into the front seat of the car.

"I know what you mean." Summer said, tired from all the work they just had to do. She helped Seth into the back seat behind Ryan's seat. Then she went to the other side and got in the car.

They had finally got both boys off of the ground. But then they had to convince them to leave as well. Which was difficult. So finally, Marissa and Summer bribed the boys with the thought of giving them more beer once they got to the Cohen's house. Maybe it was a lie. But they'd forget anyway…so it really didn't matter.

Marissa looked in her purse for the keys. They weren't there. They had to be in Seth's pocket.

"Um…Sum?"

"Yeah?"

"The car keys are in Seth's pocket. You think you could get them for me?"

Summer gave Marissa a disgusted look. "I had to come alone to this little party, didn't I?" She sighed.

Marissa smiled, 'please?'

"Okay. But I swear to God, if I feel anything move…you are going to pay. Got it." Summer reached in Seth's pockets and finally found the keys. "He didn't even move. He really is wasted." She laughed and handed the keys to Marissa.

After getting in the front seat, Marissa buckled hers and Ryan's seat belts and started the car.

It was almost an immediate action. Ryan started messing with every knob in the car. Turning the air conditioner off and on. Off and on. Then turning the radio to several different stations before he found a hardcore rap station. He then, decided that it would be better if the radio was turned all the way up.

Marissa and Summer were annoyed. Seth was having a fun time with Ryan's tinkering of the knobs though. As he danced in the backseat. Not that he was one to like rap of any kind, well neither was Ryan, but at least it gave him something to dance to. Plus, he was too drunk to care.

Marissa finally couldn't handle anymore. "Ryan! Stop! It's too loud! Cut it out!" She yelled at him over the blaring stereo.

Ryan turned the radio down and looked at her with the saddest look ever. It was like he was the kid and she was the mom who was grounding him or something.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. But it's too loud okay? You can turn it down or something…just not so loud." She tried to make his sad look go away. Maybe a drunk Ryan was less fun than she bargained for.

And it was weird. Seth was less hyper than Ryan. He sat in the back seat, loud, yes…but quieter then Ryan, nonetheless. Maybe Ryan should be sober 24/7 and Seth…well he wasn't much different, so he could just stay drunk 24/7...or not.

They finally arrived in the Cohen's driveway. Their car was no where in site. They were clear. The only problem was: getting the boys into the house.

"Ryan, c'mon. You've got to get in the house. Seth's going…" Marissa tried to get Ryan out of the car as Summer pulled Seth out.

"Cohen! Help us get Ryan out!" Summer yelled. But Seth stood still. He didn't want to help with Ryan. "I'll kiss you."

That caught Seth's attention, as well as Marissa's. "Summer!"

"What Coop? It'll help won't it?"

Half agreeing with Summer's method of getting Seth to help get Ryan out of the car,she nodded her head.

"C'mon Ryan." Seth slurred as he pulled on Ryan's right arm.

"No!" Ryan yelled, reaching over and grabbing the steering wheel.

"Why won't you come in the house Ryan?" Marissa asked, trying to see what the big fuss was about. But instead of answering, Ryan took a tighter grip on the steering wheel. "Okay, we're all going to grab him and pull." Marissa stated.

"God Chino! Why do you have to be so fucking difficult!" Summer screamed. She pulled on Seth's arm and he joined in on the pulling of Ryan.

BOOM!

All four teenagers landed on the concrete.

"Owe!" Seth screamed, as Ryan landed on top of him.

Marissa and Summer laughed at how they looked. Then Marissa hurried to get up. She shut the car door and locked it, not wanting anymore of what just happened.

It was barely past 11:00 now. This was going to be a very long, tiring night.

Next Step: Getting Seth and Ryan inside the house…and after what had just happened, this seemed like the most impossible thing ever.

"Okay, let's go inside now. It's actually kind of cold out here." Summer said, grabbing Seth's hand once again after he got up off of the ground.

To the girls' surprise, both boys followed them inside. No arguing or anything.

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"Do you want some water Ryan?" Marissa asked, after helping a sandy covered Ryan into the pool house.

"No. Why am I itchy?" He asked, looking up at her, waiting for her answer.

Marissa couldn't help but laugh. Ryan was funny when he was drunk. He was totally oblivious. "Because you're covered in sand."

"Oh. Then I need a bath."

"Yes, you do. And why don't you go and do that…I'm just going to go check on Seth and Summer, okay?"

"Then I'll come with you!" Ryan said, getting off of the bed.

"Alright. I guess you could always take a shower inside." Marissa took his hand and they went into the main house.

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Summer was sitting on the couch eating Goldfish crackers when Marissa and Ryan entered. "Where's Seth?" Marissa asked.

"God Coop. You really need to chill. He's taking a shower."

Just then, a loud crash came from upstairs.

Marissa sighed. "You can't leave them alone when they're like this. It's like they're little kids."

They headed up the stairs.

To their relief, Seth was still fully clothed. He was soaking wet though, and so was his bathroom.

"Okay, Ryan. Look at me. Me and Summer are going to go get some towels to clean up all the water." Marissa looked down, the water was starting to get Seth's carpet wet. "Stay put. Don't move. Don't do anything. Got it?" She looked up at him again.

"Got it."

"Okay." With that Marissa grabbed Summer's hand and headed off for some towels. They had already used all of Seth's.

Seth looked at Ryan, and they laughed.

"I've got an idea, man. I mean, don't you think that this would be awesome if it were covered in bubbles? Like a huge bubble bath?" Seth laughed like a little kid.

Ryan pondered the thought for a minute. "Yeah."

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"Okay, we got the towels…" Marissa started. When she saw the mass of bubbles coming out of Seth's bathroom door she screamed.

She ran in the bathroom, only to see Seth and Ryan soaking wet and covered in bubbles, laughing their heads off.

"What did I say! What are you doing?" Marissa yelled.

Ryan and Seth stopped laughing as Summer ran in from all the screaming Marissa was doing. "I guess you were right Coop. You can't leave them alone for one second."

"Why? Why? Why?" Marissa asked, panicked. There was no way in hell they'd be able to clean this up with only a few towels.

Ryan looked at Seth and then back to Marissa. "Captain Oats likes bubbles." He replied.

Marissa looked at him, confused. "What?"

Ryan then lifted up his bubble covered arm, which was holding on to Seth's favorite horse, and then once again replied, "Captain Oats likes bubbles."

SO what did you think? Should I continue? Tell me whatever you want...review's are awesome and You Guys ROCK!


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